Please Don’t

Don’t assume that because I’m smiling, surely I must be happy. Sometimes it takes all that I have to wear a smile, but if you look into my eyes, you will see that they disagree.

Don’t assume that the things I did yesterday, I will be capable of doing today. My pain is unpredictable and always present. It can change from one minute to the next. It is likely that yesterday’s activities have drained me of my energy and my pain tolerance will be lower today. It may take me three days to get back to where I was yesterday.

Don’t insist that the treatments your aunt, friend, or coworker used will help me just because it helped them. We may have the same illnesses, but how they affect an individual varies greatly. If you think I haven’t tried remedy a, b and c, you are mistaken.

Don’t tell me the things I should do to “cure” my fibromyalgia. I’m not giving up, but a cure doesn’t exist at the moment (do your research). I accept that fibro is now a part of my life and do the best I know how to keep moving forward.

Don’t assume that I am exaggerating how I feel to get out of plans or responsibilities. The amount of guilt I feel each and every day, is more than you can imagine. I feel like a burden. I’m no longer invited to social events. I feel like I let people down constantly.

Don’t mock or continuously question my illnesses just because you don’t understand them. If I try to explain them to you or give you resources to read, listen to me and read the information. If that still doesn’t satisfy you, there are plenty other resources online.

Don’t tell me I should just be more positive. I’m trying my absolute hardest; I promise.

Don’t tell me that others have it far worse than I do. I’m well aware of this and trust me, I feel guilty when I complain. This doesn’t mean however, that my struggles are not valid.


Rant over. Thank you for allowing me to vent. Sending big hugs to whoever may need one.

With love,

J♡

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Some Friday Randomness

If I had a quarter for every time the kiddos fought, a dime for every time one of them got hurt after I told them not to do something, and a nickel for every eye roll I’ve seen them do….I’d be stinkin’ rich!

It’s warm out today. Like, shorts and t-shirt warm, but I’m still dressed for winter because, 1. I’m a wimp, 2. The sun reflecting off my pasty skin may blind passers-by. I don’t think my insurance covers that.

The best time to enjoy a big bowl of cereal is not at breakfast, but between the hours of 10pm and midnight. Or is this just me?

I’ve been working on some sewing projects since I finished the quilt. I am going to join my mom and mother in-law in a craft sale at the end of the month. My problem is, I keep giving away the things I make. I like making things and I like giving presents. It makes me happy.

My anxiety has been up, especially when I hear all the birds talking. Their chatter tells me that spring is coming. I don’t know why this time of year makes me feel this way. 😕

My car broke down on Friday in the school parking lot. Just before the tow truck driver was about to load it up, he got it running and told me to have the battery checked. On Saturday, I had the battery replaced and she ran beautifully…until Tuesday. On Tuesday, she broke down again, thankfully in a parking lot once again. It was right before I was to get the kids from school. My husband attempted to get them in his car, but it wouldn’t start either. I called a friend and without hesitation, she picked up both kids, let them play at her house and then brought them home along with a home cooked, delicious meal. She’s some sort of wonder woman, I tell ya! My hubby replaced the alternator and did an oil change on my car and she’s happy again…hopefully for a long time.

The kids made friends with the neighbor boy. He’s 4 years younger than our youngest, but they enjoy each other’s company. Our son thinks this little boy has a crush on our daughter. I said, “As her big brother, how does this make you feel?”. He responded with a fist into his open palm and then smiled, saying “just kidding”. He does feel like it’s too big of an age gap though, ha!


All images from Pixabay (except the one of my poor car on the tow truck🙁).

Well, that’s all for now. I hope you all have a Fantastic, Fabulous, Fun Friday! 😊

With love,

J♡

Wanting to Hold You

I wanted so badly
To hold you tight
Not knowing when
You would see the light
But your body has become
Oh so frail
Your bones are weak
And the muscles, they fail
So thin and fragile, is your skin
I wish I could make you
Healthy again
I see the frustration
In your eyes
It breaks my heart
Every time you cry
I’m dreading the day
I get the call
That says you are now
Watching over us all
So badly I wanted
To hold you tight
Not knowing when
You would see the light
Not wanting to hurt
Your delicate frame
I kissed your forehead
And drove away
Your scent lingered
As I began to pray
God, when it’s time
For you to take her home
Let her be not afraid
Without pain and not alone


Thank you for reading.

With love,

J♡

Just a Little Update

Hello, friends. Can you believe it’s Friday already? Where the heck did this week go?

I’ve been in a funk. Pain has been really bad lately, both fibro and my back and hips. My legs have been giving out a lot the last few days causing plenty of near falls. We joke about my wobbly walking being a cool new dance move. It helps to find the humor in these things, ya know? I’ve been having to take a pain killer every day, sometimes twice a day, and it helps me get my mind off the pain, but it’s still there.

I’m feeling emotionally/mentally exhausted, and not even the beautiful, cold rainy days are lifting my mood like they normally do. There’s so much I need to do, but don’t, so much I want to do, but can’t, and things that I’ve gotten so far behind on (like reading everyone’s posts…sorry😢). I start to feel really motivated to do all of it, but then feel overwhelmed and find myself sucked into the world of YouTube videos or a game on my phone instead.

Having said all that, I feel guilty for complaining at all. So many people would gladly welcome my struggles in place of what they go through. Remember how I said I was working on a quilt for a very special person? Well, she is facing struggles that I can’t even imagine going through. She is incredibly brave, and stubborn (in a good way). Her struggles keep increasing, but she still manages to smile and crack jokes, and love with all her heart. I look at her and think, who the hell am I to complain.

The one thing I did accomplish this past week, was the quilt. I started it last Wednesday and finished it at 4am on Monday. I was determined to finish it in time to take it to her on Monday afternoon. The tiredness I felt that day was totally worth it, to see the smile on her face. She loved it.

I’m going to try to catch up on everything else this weekend. Good thing I have a giant can of coffee grounds in the pantry. I’m going to need it. I wish you all a wonderful and safe weekend.

With love,

J♡

Happy ❤ Day

Good morning, everyone! How are you today?

It is a gorgeous overcast day here in Arizona.

It’s chilly outside (not too…I’m just a wimp when it comes to weather), and I believe we are supposed to get some rain. You know what this means? It means I am in a great mood and will be seated at my sewing machine with the blinds open so I can enjoy this beautiful weather. I’m working on a scrappy quilt for a very special family member. This is a project I must complete quickly, so please forgive me if I get behind on posting and reading your wonderful blogs as well for a couple of days.

Life is full of uncertainty and at times, seems really unfair. Be sure to let those you love and care about know how you feel, not just on this day but always. Tomorrow is not promised to any of us.

Happy Valentine’s Day! If it’s not your thing, then Happy Thursday, February 14th! I hope you have a lovely day.

With love,

J♡

Scars

Scars

By J♡

Scars are beautiful

Offering a glimpse of who we are

What we’ve been through

How we’ve come so far

Some will stay until the end

Others fade as a new chapter begins

How we acquire our beautiful marks

May not be beautiful at the start

But as for me and my scars

I wish for them to stay just as they are

They tell a story of who I am

Battles I faced and where I’ve been

They remind me of what I now know

And the dark places I wish not to go


Thanks for reading.

Image: Pixabay

With love,

J♡

Some Random Thoughts This Friday

I miss the days when naps were mandatory.

I also miss the days of placing coins on the track and anxiously waiting for them to be flattened. Come to think of it, there’s a lot from childhood I miss.

I’m pretty sure my kiddos think I have 6 extra arms or can be in two places at once. They are wrong. I do however, have eyes in the back of my head (all mom’s do).

If I had been born with some sort of extended warranty paperwork, it’s probably lost or expired by now.

If I had to choose between stepping on legos every day or having fibromyalgia, I’d choose the legos.

Wouldn’t it be great to hang a sign like this in our heads to keep the inner demons like depression and anxiety away?

Happy Friday, everyone. 😊

With love,

J♡


Images from Pixabay